So I found myself on kid duty today and it was a trying day. Jess came down with a bug and I had to fumble through all of the things that she usually does so seamlessly.
By dinnertime the kids were firmly in the driver’s seat and my patience was wearing thin. About the third time Jayden (3) “accidentally” stabbed his sister (5) with his fork while trying “to make it fly” I got fed up.
“Do it again,” I threatened, “and I will spank you.”
He immediately did it again.
I followed through with an obligatory swat to the hiney. He looked at me – hurt emotionally, if not physically – and asked me to kiss it.
“No, I said,” sternly, “you were naughty.”
I could see the corners of his mouth turn down involuntarily, his eyes begin to well up, but I held my ground. There would be no sympathy for the offender.
“Oh, dad,” piped up Jordyn, “just forgive him.”
“What?” I responded. “What do you mean?”
“JUST FORGIVE HIM,” she answered exasperatedly.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Jordyn,” I said, “I need him to stop being naughty.”
“Oh… well,” she replied, “I’m not sure what ‘Just forgive him’ means, but…”
She search for the right words, finally offering, “Just love him.”
And that I understood. In fact, it was the best advice I’ve had all week.
Of course, I can’t let my son stab his sister with a fork. But, I can take a step back, realize that I’ve had a long, tiring day, and remember that he’s not really trying to hurt his sister (yet, anyway). He’s just trying to establish some boundaries and assert his right to prod anything within arm’s reach and see what happens. In other words, he’s a good kid; he just happens to be three.
And if my five year old daughter can recognize this – and the fact that I’m parenting as much or more out of frustration than out of love – then I certainly should be able to also.
Thanks, Jordyn. You’re a wise little girl.
- Dad
PS – God bless my wife, and thank God she feels better today.
